Thursday 15 December 2011

Postcode

It was with interest that I tuned in last night to an episode of Postcode, the new Tony Marchant (The Mark of Cain, Garrow's Law, Holding On and The Knight's Tale for the BBC Canterbury Tales revisit in 2003) drama for children and teenagers. After hearing of its existence I watched with some trepidation - Marchant is without doubt one of the best, however it is notoriously difficult to create an authentic voice for youth programmes. They often end up too square or, more common in recent years, trying too hard to be hip. Shows like Skins have avoided this by appealing to the things kids like the most: sex, drugs, swearing and imagining their lives are so much cooler than they actually are.

I am currently training in a school in Croydon, with excactly the sort of kids represented by one group on the show. As I teach English we often talk about slang and I ask the kids questions about how they say things and why. And I'm pleased to say from my experience I think Marchant's Postcode has it pretty bang on. The main actors are also excellent and support the accurate language choices with understanded acting, and not just Sylvia Young graduates attempting to cover their RP accents.

Marchant said he chose to write Postcode after spotting a gap in the market where teens are forced to watch babyish television or unsuitable adult shows. As I am teaching I should probably take advantage of this immersion in a sociolect in my writing, however I just can't seem to keep up!

Thursday 8 December 2011

The Grinch who needs Christmas

I am so tired. I always thought teachers had it sweet with their six week summers, but they are fucking heroes. I get up at 5am and go to bed around midnight. Although that's only if I plan my lessons properly, which at this stage in the term I invariably don't. I have a 3 hour round trip of a commute, including a few miles of walking. I'm rocking every girls' worst fashion faux pas: the office skirt and trainers. Accessorised with a rucksack full of books and files and marking.

The kids at this school are loose cannons - I had an observation so bad yesterday that my mentor aborted it halfway through. I called security twice, but if I'm honest that was more for their safety than my own. Countdown to Christmas holidays: 5. Thank God (and Jesus, for being born and all).

My brain is empty of words. I have used up all the good ones I know and they have been replaced by phrases like:
This is a corridor, not a zoo.
I say when you pack up, not the bell.
If you threaten me one more time I'll punch you in the face, you evil little monster.

Obviously I'm kidding about the last one, but it's hard to be in a job where people swear at you all day, make rude personal comments, denigrate all your hard work and scream and kick and yet you have to remain calm and po-faced. This is why teachers need long holidays - to repair their frayed patience.

I wish I was a script editor at the BBC instead. But at least it will give me plenty of material if I ever get a job on Waterloo Road!

Monday 5 December 2011

Tweet that

*Cue big fanfare* I have finally joined the modern computer age. Though I am still to use the internet at any length on my phone, I do have a swanky (read: at least two years old) ipod touch and I'm prepared to use it. That's right - I have finally joined the Twitter revolution.

Follow me (please! I only have one follower so far) @penenvy.

It is proving to be very useful as I'm following some big TV production companies, some writers and some literary agents. It's great to be uptodate on any news, job info or things I should know about in the world of words.

Watch this space, I think this Twitter thing could catch on...

Black Mirror

When I first saw the channel four ads for the first episode of Black Mirror it looked like some slightly rubbish drama for the 'safe viewing' brigade, complete with kidnapped royalty and race against time to get her back. Like a soft-focus low-budget 24. But then I read a review in the Saturday paper and two little words changed everything for me: Charlie Brooker. Man, Brooker is just great. Really great. I can't get enough of his lovely angry ways and despite his rant-ridden writing what he is communicating is still full of logical points and balanced opinions. It was definitely appointment to watch stuff.

As the show started I began to realise why one major point was left out of the trailers - you can't refer to the PM having sex with a pig before the watershed. I mean, I haven't read the rule specifically worded like that by Ofcom but I think it's safe to assume. The premise of the show was a mixture of dark, funny, clever and awe-inspiringly dumb. So dumb it came back round to clever again. I would love to have sat in on the pitch meeting for that show. It was like a game of political 'Would You Rather?' (perhaps a late night drinking game over at the Brooker-Huq household inspired the theme. You never know.) The script was pitch-perfect in being dramatic and witty, whilst not falling into slap-stick territory. Which could so easily happen in a show that refers to an hour long sex scene with an enormous grunting sow (no unfeminist jokes at the expense of any actresses please. Unless it's Miss Piggy, who I think has had that accusation levelled at her before...)

After feeling like the Will He/ Won't He question would dominate the episode Brooker hits us with not one but three twists. And I loved the final scene, demonstrating public versus private images. I will definitely be tuning in to next week's episode.

Thursday 1 December 2011

Little pieces of love

Another interesting play writing opportunity, 15 minute pieces on the theme of love for a showcase as the Southwark Playhouse. Deadline is 20th December.

The link to their website is here

Monday 14 November 2011

Fun post-work activities: A Teacher's Guide

Me: Did you have a good evening? What did you get up to?
Colleague: Googled teacher's suicide rates.
Oh dear.

Tuesday 8 November 2011

The Jury - ITV

I am sick and feeling sorry for myself. More so than usual, I mean. Spent the day making some attempt at work, with varying degrees of success. Have made inroads on reading for my essay What is English? but now have finally given in to the nausea and sneezing. Decided to instead watch The Jury from ITV this week, a drama following the twelve jurors on a murder case retrial. I am watching it as I type, ready for updates. Five minutes in I'm really enjoying it (despite ITV player's slight connectivity issues). The opening, with no dialogue, was strong and atmospheric. I always enjoy an ensemble piece where you gradually see how the characters entwine and see their actions from opposing points of view, utilised in films such as Crash and Magnolia to such great effect. That's why I am also currently enjoying The Slap on BBC4, but will save that for a different blog entry.

Twenty-one minutes in - so far the strongest aspect of the show is the writer's ability to character profile. The profiles of the three murder victums are delivered against the backdrop of the prosector's narration in court. This is a very effective device, though does have the effect of convincing the audience that the defendent is guilty because, although we are not seeing the murder happen, the incidents are being told by the prosecutor as though it is fact and we audiences are very susceptible to suggestions like that! This would also be a useful narrative device for radio plays as it is a straightforward but not too obvious way to develop plot and propel the story.

Thirty-eight minutes in - Ah, bit of a revelation during the break: just googled the writer. It's only bloody Peter Morgan. Now, I usually only list a few writing credits for these entries but he deserves a few more:Frost/ Nixon, The Special Relationship, The Queen, The Last King of Scotland I re-watched The Last King of Scotland a couple of weekends ago as it's one of my favourite films (and, I admit, because they were selling it on dvd for £3 in Tesco) and even though I knew what was going to happen I was just as shocked, saddened and intruiged as I was the first time I watched it. Amazing stuff. Though in The Jury I feel like maybe there's a few glaring lines which need a bit of editing down for the sake of subtlety and feel a little expositional. I hope Morgan isn't overexplaining for the benefit of the ITV audience. That would be a sad state of affairs indeed. Or perhaps I'm just concentrating on the script I'm becoming a little pernickety. Am really enjoying it though, and finding this 'review as I watch' idea a bit distracting, which can only be a plus point for the show.

Forty-four minutes in (and the end) - This is definitely a slow burn. I'm still getting to grips with the characters and looking forward to the next episode. I'm particularly interested in the character of Theresa, a high-flying businesswoman with an inflated opinion of her own importance, who sends her assistant Lucy to take her place and try to get out of jury service. Of course Lucy's plea to not take part is declined and she lies under oath. Well set up and perfectly believable. Though I hated myself a little there fore writing the phrase "high-flying businesswoman" as it sounds corny and a bit stereotyped - and indeed she did have leather-look trousers, spiky heels and a blunt fringe. I always enjoy watching Sarah Alexander (who plays Theresa) but there is a reason that her most successful roles are in comedy, and that's because I'm not sure she adds much depth. Will have to see how it develops as I think it's an interesting storyline.

I saw that Zoe Williams, one of my favourite journalists, reviewed The Jury in this morning's Guardian but I wanted to wait until post-viewing to read her opinion. When I did there's some things I agree with and some I'd have to take issue with.
It's a dramaturg's delight, the sight of a bunch of professionals storming down a corridor, preferably dressed as doctors, but barristers are fun too, because of their wigs. I always worry when I see it; if you need to convey that something is dramatic by having people walking really fast, when in reality I bet barristers maintain rather a stately pace, it's the equivalent of having to use exclamation marks to alert people to the fact that you're joking. In an ideal world, it would be dramatic on account of all the exciting things that happen; just as, ideally, people would know you were joking because it was funny.
Hmm...maybe it's a little cliched but professionals storming down a corridor IS exciting. They can't all be characters from This Life, staggering in late wearing yesterday's clothes and still coked off their face.
However I do agree with the below:
Morgan has a wonderful ear for formal intercourse and political devilment, but the dialogue he accords to ordinary families, trying their best in an imperfect world, sounds like an Oxo advert. Eighteen-year-old Rashid is called for jury service – "He can't! Not with his condition!" A businesswoman makes the radically improbable decision to pass her assistant off as herself because: "I'm in what is probably the most important business meeting of my life." It's like career-woman-by-computer-program, in which someone has omitted to tell the software developer that you can end up in prison for that kind of thing. There's a teacher who's in love with her 17-year-old pupil, who has made a decision I feel sure no human being has ever made in a real-life scenario. (She informs her superior of this unnatural passion – granted, the head is played by Meera Syal, and you'd tell her anything, wouldn't you? But still … ) The odd line of interesting dialogue (a lonely housewife says to her friend on the phone: "I'm like a cactus; all alone." I sort of like it because it doesn't mean anything) doesn't alter the overwhelming impression that this was phoned in, by writer and director alike. One big conference call of half-arsed prime time.
I also liked the cactus line, primarily because it was said by a foreign character in subtitles (I don't know what nationality yet; I'm not just making a rather offensive sweeping statement) and for me this makes it more interesting; as though perhaps that is a rather poetic proverb from another country.

I may disagree with some of Wiliams' points, but the way she formulates them is lovely to read.

Monday 7 November 2011

BBC Radio 4: Opening Lines

A new opportunity below, as per the BBC Writersroom site, on their opportunites page:

The BBC Radio Drama Readings Unit welcomes unsolicited submissions from writers new to radio for their annual series, Opening Lines which is broadcast on BBC Radio 4.

As well as broadcasting the three strongest stories in the summer of 2012 they will be publishing transcripts of the shortlisted stories on a new Opening Lines webpage.

The next window for sending in material is October 17th – December 2nd, 2011. Stories submitted outside this time-frame will be returned unread. Your story will be read and responded to within three months of the submission deadline.

Content and format:

They are looking for original short stories which work being read out loud i.e. with a strong emphasis on narrative and avoiding too much dialogue, character description and digression. Pay particular attention to how the story opens and closes. They’ll be looking to see whether the beginning of a story successfully links to how it ends.

The Readings Unit are interested in seeing stories which cover a broad range of subject-matter but material which explores particularly dark, harrowing themes is not best suited to Opening Lines.

The BBC has a rigorous taste and decency policy and cannot accept stories of a sexist or racist nature, or those which use the stronger swear words. The time allotted for each story is around 14 minutes, which means stories must be between 1,900 and 2,000 words in length.

Submissions must be typed and double-spaced on A4 paper and it is important to put your name and address on the script itself. Please do not send a recording of the text.


Submission details:

When submitting your work, please include a SAE and a brief covering letter giving your name, e-mail address (if applicable), the story’s title, word count and details of writing track record. We regret that we can only accept one submission per writer and if we intend to broadcast your story we shall contact you.

Stories that fall outside these guidelines will be returned unread.

Please send us a copy of your story, not your original work.

If you would like to submit work to the London office please send it to:

BBC Radio Drama Readings Unit
Room 807, South East Wing
Bush House
Aldwych
London
WC2B 4PH

Deadline: December 2nd 2011

Tuesday 1 November 2011

Update from the front line

For the first time in a couple of weeks I feel like I've had a GOOD DAY at school. Finally I have witnessed students engaged in debate, expressing opinions, and thinking about issues outside of their direct experience. I am going on a year ten trip tomorrow and some of my year ten girls whooped when they found out I was supervising - must mean I'm doing something right!

On the down side I feel overwhelmed by assessment objectives and foci, schemes of work and a mulitude of pointless acronyms (EAL, SEN, G&T, IEP, AOs, WWWs, EBIs, VAK, AFL...and the list goes on...) but am getting there, slowly but surely.

I had a meeting with another teacher today who seemed to talk entirely in metaphors - the children were plants, their education roots, and results their fruit. This became quite tedious quite quickly. By time he got to 'the classroom is like a game of Jenga; you move one building block and the whole lot comes tumbling down.' I felt like I was in a meeting with a fortune cookie maker.

Today I also had a year 7 student who, after hitting a fellow pupil, was writing an account of what happened (this seems to me to be an excellent punishment - getting them to write, whilst also avoiding fraught 'he said, she said'). He wrote the sad words "He came to the window of the classroom and stuck his middle finger up at me. Then came in and said "F your dead mum" so I got angry and beated him." Kids can be pretty mean.

Thursday 20 October 2011

Books, glorious books

I've read some great books lately. Am currently trying to eke out the end of Caitlin Moran's How To Be A Woman. Awesome.
So here is the quick way of working out if you're a feminist. Put your hand in your pants. a) Do you have a vagina? and b) Do you want to be in charge of it? If you said 'yes' to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist.
Now, I already knew I was, but this is such a funny, astute book and Moran is able to word her aruguments on feminism much more succinctly than I ever could. And she made me smother a loud chortle pre-7am on a freezing cold train to Croydon. Anyone who can do that is alright by me. She had me at "vagina"...

Also went through my obsessive We Need to Talk About Kevin phase. My god I can't wait until the film comes out. I have also been reading a lot of teen and pre-teen fiction. There are some brilliant books for kids out at the moment, and since the Harry Potter/ Twighlight years it's really having a renaissance with publishers. I'm very excited that we're providing interesting and ultimately responsible novels for them to read. More feedback on these to come, or check out my Shelfari page to the right.



Monday 17 October 2011

Morning

I am now leaving the house at 6.15am to catch a train to get to school for 7.50am (I know, horrible commute). This means I leave the house while it is still dark and all the lights in people's houses are off. I obviously venture out of the house when it is dark at night, but the morning seems so different - there is a quietness to the morning, a feeling of intruding. I slink down the road, careful not to crunch the gravel too loudly, creeping along walls and away from streetlights. In the evening you try and make yourself heard and seen, but the deserted morning is a different matter.

This morning on my way to the train I saw a lone man dressed in a reflective yellow vest over his clothes and wearing a hockey mask over his face. It was too out of place for me to feel alarmed, but only after he passed me by did I fully realise he was clearly up to no good. I also, in a presumably unrelated occurance, saw an enormous dead fox splayed out on the pavement in front of me. Its neck bent back at an awkward angle, exposing a white scruff around his neck. His glassy eyes gazed sightlessly into the night.

Thursday 6 October 2011

"I wouldn't say I enjoyed it..." Reflections on first weeks in the classroom

God only knows if I've made a decent career move. I keep thinking about that email from a literary agent. Should I have at least sent them my CV? But the deed is done now and I have started my classroom experience. I am placed in what is referred to as a 'challenging school.' It's actually a well organised academy with lofty ambitions for its pupils, who come from diverse and often difficult backgrounds. I can see how teachers get ground down by the constant abuse and behaviour management, but I keep reminding myself that a badly behaved kid almost always comes in tow with pretty inadequate parents. It's funny, interesting and sad in equal parts. And it's certainly a fertile enironment for fuelling the imagination. Here are just a few things with have stood out so far:

On day one a year 10 threw a paper aeroplane at me. Obviously it undermined my authority, but I do admire the vintage charm in his weapon of choice.

The students aren't the only ones with issues; the number of teachers giving out inappropriate or just plain wrong information is baffling. One teacher in particular regularly provides incorrect meanings of words but I don't feel well placed to correct her (yet).

There is also a regular perpetuation of gender stereotypes such as "Stop talking. You're supposed to be reading and as you're a boy you can't multi-task and do both at once." Had I been a student in that class I would have pounced on that statement and insisted on multi-tasking with my mates for the rest of the lesson. I am a girl, after all.

A teacher also described The Sun as "not a newspaper. It just has sport and photos of women who have no self respect." This was not followed up with any explanation or class discussion. No wonder I hear boys in corridors regularly referring to women as slags, or assuming that IQ level and skirt length are inversely proportional.

School children stink. And I don't mean their attitudes (though, in some cases that is also the case). I mean they reek of adolescence. The heady mix of Lynx and body odour infiltrates every corner of the building.

There is a tiny year eight pupil, a little boy, who can't weigh more than a few stone. He is constantly exhausted and spends most of the lesson with his head on the desk. I mentioned this to his form tutor, who said not only do his parents not put him to bed at a reasonable time but they often forget to feed him dinner. No wonder he can't concentrate when he hasn't eaten for days and is in need of a nap. Made me feel very sad.

If you read a lot growing up your ability to communicate, both written and verbally, increases massively. A textbook asked students to select a newspaper article from home about refugees and one girl wrote just the words "We don't have No Newspapers" in big letters in her exercise book. Says it all, really.

Kids are very adaptable. There is a large number of students at the school with English as a second language. One recent Eritrean refugee is really struggling with his lessons and he knows very little English. However another little boy, with perfect English and a reading age well above his peers told me that when he moved to England from West Africa at the age of seven it took him a whole three months before he could speak English fluently. I was learning French for two years before I could string a sentence together! Sometimes the only giveaways that a pupil has only been speaking English for a few years is that they absentmindedly turn the pages of a book in the wrong direction or write their titles on the right hand side of the page instead of the left.

Kids also like to Do the Right Thing. They have a very strong moral compass when tested, and fights in the corridor often highlight this. They are also proud when they achieve, no matter how uncool they think it is. It is often easier to pretend you don't care and to fail than to admit you do and still fail.

After observing the behavioural problems in the lower school I was entertaining fantasies about how great it would be to teach A-level groups. I imagined we would all sit in a circle, their faces glowing with pleasure at being able to spend two hours discussing books and theories and sharing their ideas. After all, sixth formers are there voluntarily because they want to learn and because they love the subject. I could not have been more wrong. The group consisted of fourteen students who acted more like they were being asked to do hard labour than read an Arthur Miller play. "Sir, it's so boooring" "this is a well shit book" "what's even the point of reading?" and so on. I spent the whole lesson with them pretending I didn't hear their silly chatter that was designed to shock me. However I feel they might be about to get their comeuppance. Today their teacher confiscated a letter that went something like this:
"I like to snort cornflakes in my nose so they come out of my bum. I like to rub jam into my japs eye. I have got a lego brick shoved up my bum. I put my dick in my sister's mouth and shag my mum."
And so on and so forth. I am sorry to say that the grammar has been added in by me (as if these students would know how to use a possessive apostraphe). However I am pleased to say that the punishment will be a photocopy of this letter sent home to the parents of every student involved. It's about time they knew what their little darlings are up to whilst they were supposed to be learning about Freudian readings of Arthur Miller. Well, maybe they can try a Freudian reading of their own work...

I'm not really sure how to follow that little gem. More updates from the frontline next week!



Tuesday 4 October 2011

Charlie Kaufman interview

I read this in The Guardian today and had to post for posterity. It's an extract from his talk at the BFI, which I couldn't attend but would have liked to. I love writers talking about writing. (See? Told you I wouldn't quit thinking about it!)

I wrote Being John Malkovich while I was waiting for [the next sitcom] hiring season. My idea was that I would write a script and use it to get work. I had this idea that someone finds a portal into someone's head, and I had another idea that somebody has a story about someone having an affair with a co-worker. And neither one was going anywhere, so I just decided to combine them.

It got a really positive response. I started to get a little known. People would read it and tell me how funny it was, invite me for meetings, tell me nobody would ever make the movie. I had maybe 15 meetings like that, so I wasn't really expecting it to get made. Then it got to Spike Jonze, and he was in a position to get a movie made. I didn't really expect it to be anything. I don't think Spike did either. I remember it going to the Venice film festival, which was the first exposure it had. I wasn't invited, but they went: Spike and Cameron Diaz and Catherine Keener. I just got a phone call saying that it was this big thing, and then all these articles got written about it. It was exciting.

Storytelling is inherently dangerous. Consider a traumatic event in your life. Think about how you experienced it. Now think about how you told it to someone a year later. Now think about how you told it for the hundredth time. It's not the same thing. Most people think perspective is a good thing: you can figure out characters arcs, you can apply a moral, you can tell it with understanding and context. But this perspective is a misrepresentation: it's a reconstruction with meaning, and as such bears little resemblance to the event.

The other thing that happens is adjustment. You find out which part of the story works, which part to embellish, which to jettison. You fashion it. Your goal is to be entertaining. This is true for a story told at a dinner party, and it's true for stories told through movies. Don't let anyone tell you what a story is, what it needs to include. As an experiment, write a non-story. It will have a chance of being different.

I'll tell you this little story. There's something inherently cinematic about it. I run in my neighbourhood, and one day I ran past this guy running in the other direction: an older guy, a big hulky guy. He was struggling, huffing and puffing. I was going down a slight hill and he was coming up. So he passes me and he says: "Well, sure, it's all downhill that way." I loved that joke. We made a connection. So I had it in my head that this is a cool guy, and he's my friend now.

A few weeks later, I'm passing him again, and I'm thinking: "There's the guy that's cool." As we pass each other, he says: "Well, sure, it's all downhill that way." So I think: "Oh, OK. He's got a repertoire. I'm not that special. He's probably said it to other people, maybe he doesn't remember me ... but OK." I laughed, but this time my laugh was a little forced.

Then I pass him another time, and he says it again. And this time he's going downhill and I'm going uphill, so it doesn't even make sense. And I started to feel pain about this, because I'm embarrassed for him and I think maybe there's something wrong with him. And then it just keeps happening. I probably heard it seven or eight more times. I started to avoid him.

I like the idea that the story changes over time even though nothing has changed on the outside. What's changed is all in my head and has to do with a realisation on my character's part. And the story can only be told in a particular form. It can't be told in a painting. The point is: it's very important that what you do is specific to the medium in which you're doing it, and that you utilise what is specific about that medium to do the work. And if you can't think about why it should be done this way, then it doesn't need to be done.

Monday 3 October 2011

Reflections on reading – a personal reading history.

I don’t remember learning to read. It seemed to be something that was always with me. I can’t imagine living in a world surrounded by alien signs and symbols designed to exclude me. From age two or three I remember clutching my seven paper library tickets every Saturday morning in exchange for seven new books. The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Spot the Dog, Topsy and Tim. The joy I felt on my fifth birthday at five slim mauve Puddle Lane tomes sitting on the shelf, glossy and brand new. Didn’t bend over the corner, didn’t crack the spine. Next came the teen section: Saddle Club, Judy Blume. I ploughed through Jane Eyre and Little Women dutifully, but my heart lay in Sweet Valley. During these years I picked up US vernacular, speaking of car trunks, sidewalks and the confusion over ‘pants.’ I hoovered up Point Horror and sheepishly absorbed romances, even at that age knowing them to be trite and formulaic. I learnt of complicated teenage problems: drug abuse, unwanted pregnancies and the mortifying shame of tripping over in the school play.

Once I had finished the available books for adolescents I moved on to adult texts. Most of them looked boring (I did, at that age, judge a book by its cover) but the shiny-covered crimes and horrors drew me in. The Shining and Pet Cemetery gave me nightmares, but the latter did provide the perverse joy of saying ‘fuck’ when asked to read aloud in class from my current book. It was swiftly removed, much to my confusion. How can a word be wrong if they print it in a book? I shrugged and went back to Adrian Mole measuring his ‘thing’ and worrying about Thatcher, whoever that might be. I shunned the school library choices and borrowed, swapped or bought any books I could. I was fortunate enough to have parents who, though not avid readers themselves, were keen to provide their little darlings with as many books as they could read. I imagine they were relieved it was those we were asking for rather than Gameboys or trainers, and every year there were ten new novels wrapped up under the tree. The teachers left me well alone, seeing my reading had developed into an intuitive awareness of form and structure, along with a desire not only to read but to write. I dutifully supplied reams of creative writing when asked to ‘describe, explain or inform’, my imagination running wild and no doubt supplying odd insights into the bizarre mind of a teenage girl. I started on Bliss, Sugar and Just Seventeen. My mum would point out that I was still years from seventeen, but I would just smirk and point out that knowledge is power. She couldn’t argue with that and left me to it.

This reading was all well and good, but by sixth form I was seriously lacking in my knowledge of the canon. I started to adore the linguistic dexterity of Atwood and Amis (the younger), but the stuffy Victorians left me cold. I went to university interview ignorant of all the texts that I did not know existed. Instead I spoke of Ian McEwan and Zadie Smith, touching on the counterpoints of art and science, and picking apart the language of despair. Fortunately my love of the theatre had grown into a love of Shakespeare and my impassioned argument for the compulsory study of Shakespeare clearly warmed the tutors’ cockles. I still firmly believe that Shakespeare should be studied by all students at all schools and that his language and his ability to initiate debate is accessible to everyone on some level. William, you’re my hero.

University opened up a new world to me. Reading became more than a solitary activity, and being constantly challenged by tutors and peers fuelled my love of books. Then came the realisation that English was actually difficult, having spent so many years racing ahead only to be bottom of the Oxford pile. I spent most days skim reading texts, my enjoyment only slightly marred by the time pressure and the twice-weekly essay panic. I discovered that academics even wrote books about books; that I could read other people’s thoughts and theories, parroting them in essays before I had any ideas of my own. The degree-level work took away my fear of complex books, I felt if I could read Poems of the Pearl Manuscript barely in English then no tricksy letters from the council or bank could foil me. Never again could someone assume I wasn’t bright, that I didn’t understand what they were saying, or that I wasn’t well educated because of my accent or postcode or the name of my secondary school. I could read Middle English, complete with Ash and Thorn, and I was proud of meeting the challenge. Every time I think I can’t figure something out I remember the Pearl poem and keep trying.

Post-university I felt out of practice, my brain turning to mush and struggling to find words. I continued to read modern novels (Coetzee, Murakami, Shriver) but missed the stimulation and variation. I took creative writing night classes, dissecting stories by my peers, and started reading TV scripts for production companies and freelancers. I read books about the craft, studying Robert McKee and Russell T Davies. In a day job where texts were limited to powerpoint slides and poorly constructed sales documents tube journeys were essential to catch up on my reading. I am immensely looking forward to having a job where reading is essential, and the idea that I can introduce books to students who have none in their home, or believe they hate reading. One day I hope to run into a student on the tube, who insisted on reading 4-4-2 magazine or Nuts at school, clutching a Chuck Palahniuk or Bret Easton Ellis and reminding me that I once told them they might like it.

Thursday 29 September 2011

Those who can't?

The last few months I have struggled, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, to stay motivated. Time is ticking and my career was seemingly going backwards, so I have had to take action. Something that seemed like a wild-card idea back in Nov 2010 has now come into fruition. I have quit the advertising industry and started a post-graduate certificate in education. To me this decision initially seemed like a cop out, as I’m sure it does to many people, but the more I considered the reasons I disliked my previous job the more it made sense. I disliked being stuck behind a desk all day, I didn’t enjoy the monotony of the campaigns I worked on – the strategy behind each was beginning to feel like a template and the spiel the same in every meeting. I longed for something more real and more tangible that would allow me to switch my brain back on. I worked hard at a world-class university for an English degree only to forget everything I knew. I could almost feel my brain atrophying. And one thing they say about teaching is that it’s never boring! I am now three weeks in and so far it’s going brilliantly…although I am yet to come into contact with a real live surly teenager, which I’m sure will be the real test.

When I made the decision someone asked me if that means I’m forgetting all about writing and editing. I responded that it’s quite the opposite: teacher’s holidays will provide me with more time to write and more inspiration out in the world. I can work every day with literature and creative writing, I can work on drama workshops and take my students to the theatre. And beyond the school gates there is working with adult literacy or creative writing, creating plays with young people, working on prison writer schemes, teaching abroad and experiencing the world. All in all, I think it’s a pretty good decision. My choice was almost tested when two days before starting I was sent a job spec for an agent’s assistant role came up at Blake Friedmann literary agency in their film and TV department. The job involved assistant’s admin duties including audio-typing, data entry, liaising with writer clients, dealing with unsolicited material and writing script reports, invoicing, a degree of contractual admin depending on aptitude, information gathering, and so on. It was so tempting to apply but I felt that may have been taking the easy way out; initially rewarding but not the right decision long-term. Especially when it said:
We are not expecting the post to develop into an agent role in the immediate future, but the job would be a good training for anybody with the ambition to become an agent.
Pen Envy still exists, but I guess this strand to the blog will become ‘and other stories.’ Turns out the title was somewhat fortuitous.

Wednesday 15 June 2011

The Smurfette Principle

Have just found the most fabulous term for the unfortunate lack of strong female characters in film and television: the Smurfette Principle. This was coined by Katha Pollitt in a New York Times article (1991) and refers to the way many female charactes exist on the periphery to the action. They function solely to fill the role of 'female', as a counterpoint to male characters' individual traits. In recent years they serve as a love interest or as a tool to further the action. Below is an excerpt from a transcript of a Feminist Frequency youtube video.

What do Inception, the Transformers, and the Muppets all have in common? They all suffer from a trope called the Smurfette Principle. As defined by TVTropes, “The Smurfette Principle is the tendency for works of fiction to have exactly one female amongst an ensemble of male characters, in spite of the fact that roughly half of the human race is female. Unless a show is purposefully aimed at a female viewing audience, the main characters will tend to be disproportionately male.”

In 1991 Katha Pollitt, a feminist essayist wrote an article for the NY Times because she was disturbed by the lack of substantive female characters for her young daughter to watch. She found that most of the programming aimed at young people had a majority of male characters, with just one female included in the group, she called this The Smurfette Principle.

You’ve probably guessed by now that this trope was named after the only female smurf in all of Smurfville.

Once upon a time, the Smurfs were an hormonious all-dude miniature civilization comprised entirely of kind good natured little blue dudes living out their cooperative-dude existence somewhere deep in their dude forest utopia.

So Gargamel sent in Smurfette to cause divisions between the lovable blue creatures so he can capture and eat their tender blue flesh in a nice honey lemon sauce. Long story short, love and understanding won out when Papa Smurf worked some smurf magic and transformed Gargamel’s impostor into a real live smurf girl, “sexy” blond hair, high heels and all!

Down in the 100 acre woods, we follow the adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Rabbit, Piglet, Eeyore, Owl and Tigger – all dudes of course… in fact there’s only one female character, Kanga, who shows up occasionally as the mother of little roo.

Even Jim Hensen didn’t seem too keen on the women, along side Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie the Bear, Miss Piggy was the only female muppet.

We can even see the Smurfette Principle outside of programming aimed at young people. So for example you have George Lucas’ original Star Wars trilogy where Princess Leia is the only principle female character in the entire galactic empire.

If you’re like me then you are probably thinking there’s got to be something wrong, I mean, Star Trek has had a female captain, Buffy has saved the world from a demon apocalypse at least half dozen times, this trope has gotta be a thing of the past right?

Ellen Page gets Smurfette’d in Inception as her character is the only female dream team member.
Big Bang Theory has a primary main cast of brainy men plus the smurfette that lives across the hall

Even in most seasons of Jon Stewart’s the Daily Show there has been only one female correspondent at a time.

The Smurfette principle is especially important to remember now because Hollywood is currently trying to remake everything and anything that we even vaguely remembers from the 80′s and 90′s in an attempt to cash in on our collective nostalgia, you know, instead of maybe taking a risk on things that are new and exciting.

We even have a live action Smurfs movie coming out.
We’ve had 2 big blockbuster movies based on the Transformers, and sadly there’s another one on its way.
The 2009 Star Trek reboot by JJ Abrams had Uhura as the only female character in the main bridge crew.

And just like Star Trek we can be sure that hollywood is not going to try to bring gender equality into these reboots but rather just stick with their Smurfettes.

The problem with narratives infused with the Smurfette Principle is not only the lack of women but as Katha Pollitt points out in her New York Times article, “Boys define the group, its story and its code of values. Girls exist only in relation to boys.” Basically this means that men are the default and women get to be sidekicks or sexy decorations.

The Smurfette Principle is an alternative name for Tokenism or the Token Minority which is the inclusion of one cast member from a marginalized group in an otherwise, white, straight male ensemble. We see this most often when writers include one person of colour and that characters is usually painfully stereotyped. This is a little trick used by movie studios to pretend to appear “multicultural” and “diverse” when really they’re just upholding the status quo and not changing anything substantially.

So here’s a tip for all you Hollywood writers out there, it is in fact possible to have more than one woman in your script. Really, I swear it is. You could even have 2 or 3 women or even the majority of your cast be women.

Here’s a simple test you can ask yourself when you’re writing your scripts: “Does my movie have more than one woman on the primary cast?”

That’s it, that’s the whole test.

If you answered “NO” then you need to go back to the drawing board. If you answered “YES” then we can proceed to the Bechdel Test. Once you’ve got two female characters who are talking to each other about things other then men, then we can talk about fully developed female characters.

I do feel the lack of female characters in films and TV, and resent when the female in comedy is 'straight.' I never thought I'd see myself claim Friends as flying the flag for feminism, but thankfully those women were given equal airtime and the opportunities for comedy and slapstick as much as the men. And the pretty dumbo, thankfully, was Joey.

Last night I caught up on ITV's new female-led cop show Scott and Bailey. Starring Suranne Jones (who I loved as Karen Macdonald in Coronation Street)and Lesley Sharp. The show is co-written by Jones, along with novice writer and ex-Corrie actress Sally Lindsay and two others: Diane Taylor and Sally Wainwright (Coronation Street writer, Shakespeare Re-Told for the BBC and At Home with the Braithwaites). The programme is good, with a strong cast, but the script doesn't inspire me and doesn't stand out above the plethora of other middle of the road TV cop shows. Obviously I'm happy to see two strong female leads, but can't help but feel the case they were handling about two rapes and a murder of young women was very female-specific. If they had been two male policemen would the cases be different? And that's a question that sometimes needs to be asked - is the character female/ black/ gay as part of their character or is it part of the storyline? There's nothing worse than a gay character being brought into a soap, only to be faced with months of coming out and homophobia storylines and then to leave again just as swiftly. Gay people have other issues to tackle apart from being gay, and women have other preoccupations other than being female. A reasonable start and will be interesting to see how Scott and Bailey develops.

And while I have my feminist high horse all saddled up I may as well also mention my anticipation of the upcoming film Bridesmaids.Zoe Williams (one of my favourite journalists) was raving about the positive effect on women's represenation in films and this week's Stylist magazine describes the film in glowing terms as "a comic breath of fresh air" being for women what The Hangover and Superbad were for men. I personally can't wait for a day when it will be commonplace for a man to say to a woman "You're really funny" and for it not to be tinged with surprise. We can be funny - get over it.

Wednesday 8 June 2011

Orange and Grazia writer's evening

In recent months, as you can probably tell from my heady mix of lack-lustre and barely there blog posts, I have fallen out of love with writing. There. I said it. When writing is good it’s amazing – getting excited over characters, striking gold with a lightning bolt of inspiration, and the lovely finished product filled with sweat and tears. But trying to make a living from the written word, whether it’s researching, editing or wiping the arse of the director general of the BBC it can be soul destroying. For legal reasons I’d like to point out the latter role does not exist (not since the cuts, anyway) but you get the gist. Writing is a hobby for so many people, and trying to turn it into a job only to be told over and over ‘no room at the inn’ or simply ‘you’re not good enough’ can make you forget why you don’t need to get paid to get satisfaction from what you create.

Last night I attended the Orange and Grazia sponsored writer’s evening at the Southbank Centre, London. Novelist Kate Mosse (who also founded the Orange prize for fiction) hosted a panel that included writer’s Sadie Jones (The Outcasts and Small Wars), Jean Kwok (Girl in Translation) and literary agent Claire Alexander. The panel were all encouraging, self-depracating and made for an enjoyable evening. Although much of their advice for wannabe writers was the usual: be patient, read like it’s going out of fashion, prepare for rejections but don’t give up, it is always inspiring to listen to people talk passionately about something they and you enjoy. A few nuggets stood out, and I’m beginning to understand more about the industry:

-When sending a manuscript to an agent always do a little research to find the name of someone to send it to. The personal touch can go a long way.
-When trying to choose an agent or a publisher read the author’s acknowledgements inside books you love. This will give you an idea of who is appropriate to submit your work to. If the same names are appearing again and again that should tell you something.
-Write a good letter to agents to go with your manuscript. Aim for something that stands out but doesn’t make you seem batty (my thought is that something like coloured paper might work. Try and link it with the manuscript you’re sending).
-In your letter you can include any details of a blog you keep, or your twitter/ facebook information. This can show you know how to self-promote using new media and social networking and thus potentially have a read-made audience.
-Saleability of an author has to be taken into account (although this never comes before the standard of the script) so if your personal story is something that resonates with the text don’t be afraid to include it.
-Claire Alexander claims she can tell if a writer is bad in less than a page. Bad dialogue, absence of craft and poorly constructed sentences are all immediate turn-offs.
-Most writers improve hugely by attending writer’s groups and having the input of other writers, not just friends and family. Although a friend may be able to identify a problem (if they’re brave enough to tell you) they won’t necessarily know how to fix it.
-Literary companies exist who, for a fee, will read and provide feedback on your work. (Nb, perhaps I could sign up with one of these for work? Just a thought.)
-Publishers and agents aren’t put off by length. Anything from 80,000 to 300,000 words is fine. Just make sure those words are carefully chosen and don’t submit your first draft.
-If you struggle with agents, Penguin Ireland accept unsolicited scripts though most publishers do not. Agents act as the first gatekeeper to getting published.

The evening was also in conjunction with the Grazia and Orange new writers competition, which I read the winning entry to in this week’s Grazia magazine. I don’t know if this is just sour grapes, but it’s absolute dross. Honestly. Any number of the writers I know (almost all unpublished) would be able to produce something infinitely better. I’m not sure whether the result makes me more confident in that writing is clearly such a subjective art, or if it depresses me to think that my piece is not even as good as this unstructured nonsense. I’ll try and go with my half full cup this time.

I once said two of my aims in life are to get a play produced and to publish a novel. These are goals with no time limits. Take a deep breath and keep going.

Monday 9 May 2011

Grazia and Orange fiction prize The Deadline

The first paragraph was begun by author Kate Mosse, and entrants were invited to complete the chapter in max. 1000 words.

I really enjoyed writing it, spurred on by the May 10th entry date.

The Deadline

She stood looking up at the house. At the blank grey walls, the shuttered windows with empty boxes on the concrete sills, the stern front door. The house said nothing about what it was or what took place inside, it was unassuming and nondescript and uninviting. She'd come here several times before, but never got the courage to go in. Now, there was no choice. The deadline was today, no last chance of a reprieve or change of heart. If she was going to do it, it had to be now. She shivered, chill from the sudden drop in temperature now the light was fading, or from excitement or from fear, she didn't know. Also, the sense of possibility that, by pressing this suburban doorbell, her life could - would - alter for good. But still she lingered on the unwashed step, picking at a thread of wool come loose from her glove, caught between the girl she was and the woman she might be. A deadline she never thought she would face.

She was unable to push the bell. Her finger hovered over it with almost magnetic repulsion. Before she had the chance to change her mind and head back to the conference, no harm done, a shadow appeared behind the yellow-tinted glass of the door.
“Who’s there?” a voice hollered, and the shadow loomed larger.
“We don’t want nothin’ from you.” A face, distorted by the frosting, leered through the window. Angela stood silently on the doorstep, outwardly composed but inwardly repeating OhGodOhGodOhGod over and over like white noise. Finally the door opened with a reluctant groan to reveal a humungous woman clad only in a nightgown. It would have been impossible to place the woman’s age, had Angela not already known, as this was a great beast of a woman. The worn cotton of the nightgown stretched out over rolls of stomach and back and ass, sagging over each other in lumps like a burst armchair. Dried spittle and the remains of meals covered her front, and large crescent moons of old sweat darkened her underarms. Peering with black pebble eyes she swayed backwards and forwards with the effort of standing and watching. Their meeting seemed to be happening in slow motion. Angela was unsure if this was a trick of time, leaving her in nervous suspense, or if the woman moved at half speed with thoughts and words fighting their way to the surface like swimming through treacle. Looking Angela up and down there was definite recognition.
“What you doin’ here?” The woman reached for the doorframe to steady herself. Her large uncradled breasts undulated as she wheezed and coughed with the effort.
“I came to see you…to see how you are.”
“I can’t stand here all day.” The woman turned to walk away, leaving the door wide open. After a moment’s pause Angela took this as an invitation to follow and entered the house.

The first thing to hit Angela was the smell and the heat. It was an early autumn evening but the windows had clearly stayed shut all summer. In the lounge a two bar gas-heater burned orange and released an odour of melted plastic. The house was a time warp. Nothing had changed since the seventies and the furniture was faded in green and beige; a life lived in sepia. Unless she checked the dates on the front of the mail and freesheet newspapers piled up in the hall there would be no way of guessing the year, or even the decade. She selected a seat as far from the heater as possible and leaned forward to avoid the halo of grease that clung to the headrest. The woman heaved her gargantuan frame onto the sofa, settling into the pronounced grooves where buttocks had ploughed ridges into the fabric. They sat, not speaking, while the woman gulped for breath. Angela gazed at the old statue of Jesus on the cross that was silhouetted on the mantelpiece. It sat, as it always had, lit from behind with a candle. Puddles of melted wax sat in rivulets, almost as tall as the figurine itself. Angela folded her hands and fiddled with the beads on her bracelet in mock penance. After huffing and puffing the woman was settled, ass firmly planted in the sofa’s indent. She looked at Angela, with either a single solitary tear or an oozing bead of perspiration snaking down the side of her cheek.
“Where you been, baby?”
“Illinois. I’ve been in Illinois.” Angela was unsure what else to add. It was hard to sum up seventeen years in a simple ‘where’ or ‘what.’
The woman hauled herself forward on the sofa and fixed those black eyes on her guest.
“Your daddy been missin’ you.” She hissed breathlessly.
“Momma.” Angela started, then hesitated, “He hasn’t missed me.”
“Sure he has. I visit him in that hospital and all he does is ask for you. He barely notice I’m there.” She paused for breath. “He’s so skinny now. They don’t feed him right, I swear. But nobody listens to me. Could you go talk to them?”
“Talk to the hospital?” Angela asked.
“Sure. And tell them your daddy need feedin’ up.”
“Maybe, Momma, maybe.”
“Please, Angel. That place is worse than the last, and the one before.”
Angela found it uncomfortable to think of her father passed round the system the same way she had been. It was four years for her, before the trial and before they could find a proper home. Even that was hazy, the interviews and questions. They gave her dolls. ‘He touched you here?’ they would say, and she agreed. Memory is a strange thing.

Seeing Angela’s reluctance her mother pushed on. “It’s the least you could do.” Her mother said, sadly. And there it was: the thing Angela came to speak about, and yet was hoping would never come up. How can you tell the truth when you don’t know what that is?
“I’ll do it.” She replied. There was no admission of guilt, but no protestations of innocence either.
“Why’d you come? Why’d you come if you don’t wanna help?” Her mother asked.
“I do want to help.” Angela replied. And the real question came.
“Why’d you come now then? Your daddy needed your help ten years ago.” Her mother was angry underneath.
Resisting the urge to say and I needed your help, momma Angela just sat, sweltering.
“Why did I come now?” She repeated the question to buy herself time as she removed her jacket in the heat.
“I came now…” Leaning backwards awkwardly on the sticky chair Angela shrugged off her coat to reveal a loose blouse, and under that a perfectly rounded bump, five months grown.
“I came now.” The question needed no further explanation.

Wednesday 27 April 2011

Current projects

1) Grazia and Orange fiction prize The Deadline, due by 10th May
2) Radio play You Can Never Go Home
3) Finish short story from CSM class for compeitions, various deadlines throughout June
4) Get feedback on Magical Story for flash fiction competitions

Other actions involved reading a script for someone and I also need to continue listening to radio plays.

Radio plays

A good interview in the BBC Writersroom site about writing scripts for radio.

Scrapbook - life drawing class

Last night I went to a life drawing class. Kind of weird and not at all what I'd expect - instead of a church hall with some middle aged women it was in a bar. We all sat around in a room while a young South American boy called Fernando removed his pants. Tribal music played in the background in the hope of making our pictures 'more primal...more animalistic.' Not sure if it worked. Mine were rubbish. And I spent most of the time feeling sorry for poor Fernando as he winced and clenched his way through each pose.

Overall the experience was very therapeutic. I imagine that's how I'll feel doing art therapy if I'm ever institutionalised.

More short story competitions

Flash 500
Quarterly competition
http://www.flash500.com/index.htm
£5 entry fee, 500 word limit

Lightship
http://www.lightshippublishing.co.uk/
Deadline 30th June 2011-04-27 Entry fee £12, 5000 word limit for short story comp, 600 word limit for flash fiction

Fish short story prize 2011/12
http://www.fishpublishing.com/short-story-competition-contest.php
Opens June 1st, closes Nov 30th 2011
Entry fee 20 euro, prize 3,000 euro
5,000 word limit

Manchester Fiction Prize
http://www.manchesterwritingcompetition.co.uk/fiction/online_entry.php
Deadline 12th August
Entry fee £15, prize £10,000
3,000 word limit

It’s worth noting that the Manchester Fiction Prize guidelines say you cannot enter that story in any other competition at that time. Some of the others may state the same, so worth checking before entering.

Wednesday 20 April 2011

Love (and cliche)

A while ago I wrote a short story that got a very positive reception at my first St Martin's writing course. On the topic of love it was something I never expected to be good, as the subject is a tough one to balance between sentiment and reality. I read my story aloud, happy with the result but not expecting much. It was greeted with a full room of positive responses, many saying it was their favourite thing I'd written. One asked if it was based on The Notebook (it wasn't) and if I'd seen it (I hadn't). It was just on Film4 this evening so I checked it out. And, I'll be honest, I cried like a baby. Though I'd like to caveat I've had a stressful week at work, nothing at all to do with the affecting tale of enduring love. Honest.

Anyway, watching this inspired me to revisit the story I wrote back then and I can really see how much improved my writing is now. Quite aside from the technical issues of slipping in and out of tenses and points of view, the content feels loose and flabby. Paragraphs flop around and sentences tie themselves in knots. I might take some time to rewrite, because I like the story and the characters feel very right. And I can totally see the similarities with The Notebook*, which made the film sadder as I felt I already knew the characters' story but this showed it to me in technicolour detail. The story is below, and I'll post again when I've rewritten.

*(written by Jeremy Leven, also wrote the screenplay for My Sister's Keeper)

Every Saturday they would watch a film. Not like years ago when they would sit in the darkness of old-fashioned cinemas or novelty Americano drive-ins. Ellen would lay her coat over their knees and Jack would squeeze her hands secretly underneath. One time he traced a prediction in a circle on the fourth finger of her left hand. Now their coats were replaced by a fleece blanket, and on her fourth finger sat a tiny diamond among the folds. Tonight Ellen had chosen an old favourite. She was tired and it slipped on like an old jumper. The first notes of The Sound of Silence filled the room. They had the television a lot louder nowadays, the plucking of a guitar soothed her and she was transported.
For dinner Jack microwaved some lamb, which nestled in a plastic box amongst new potatoes and green beans. Now just the two of them were left they had little enthusiasm for a full roast, but liked a pre-prepared treat from messieurs Marks and Spencer. The meat smelt of thyme and rosemary, filling any empty corners of the house. Once they finished eating they paused the video; she washed, he dried. Another benefit of the little plastic dishes was no pans to wash, but Ellen insisted on eating off a proper china plate, and dressing for dinner. Tonight she wore a blue skirt, accessorised with grey furry slippers. Sitting back down Ellen leant against the arm of the sofa, legs entangled, and laid a blanket over them. Just as they had done for fifty years.
They had met at a party, a mutual friend’s birthday, and Ellen had gone rushing down the steps thinking him someone else. She greeted him like a whirlwind. She kissed him on both cheeks and laughed at her stupidity. That night she was wearing a summer party dress with halter straps snaking up around her neck leaving her shoulders bare and white. The dress was covered in sprigs of yellowy flowers, which Jack told her looked like scary faces when he squinted. She told him to look at the geometric patterns in the curtains, which she thought looked like grizzly bears. Then, later, called him up to the bathroom to show him a damp patch of wall where the paper was peeling. “Look” she had exclaimed “there’s the monkey.” She held his arm out to trace a pattern in the air “its little tail is this peeling bit of paper and its eyes are those two dots of mould.” It wasn’t the most romantic thing in the world but he pushed the bathroom door quietly to and kissed her face, reaching down to hold her hands by his side. It was inevitable really; all evening Jack had followed Ellen around, hand resting on the small of her back as though they were already a couple. If she noticed, she didn’t acknowledge it and let him wait patiently by her side as she carried on greeting friends. She wasn’t the prettiest girl in the room, he knew that, but she was the one who laughed the most.
Dustin Hoffman and Katharine Ross sat on the back of the bus, fleeing. At this scene a tear slips down Ellen’s cheek and she smiles at Jack. “Silly” Jack whispers.
They had got married in the spring on 1958, she was in love with the day, with life and with her dress. She wore a tight bodice and sweetheart neckline, with a full skirt reaching her knees. Layers of organza underneath swished when she walked. Ellen wouldn’t keep still for the wedding photographs, and several caught her doubled over and clutching at her new husband. For their first dance they whirled around and around, her skirt catching and flying out and Jack could never remember being happier.
When the film finished they danced up to bed. Ellen liked to sleep early, curled at his side, so Jack read until late and slept until later. When they first moved in together Ellen would wake up early every Saturday and get up without rousing Jack. She would do whatever errands needed doing for the day, cleaning or washing, and often buy breakfast. Once she was done she would go back upstairs and slip into the bed beside Jack. He remembered in summer when they lived in Devon she would sometimes cycle to the shops. Coming home she would have some eggs and bread, or strawberries, in her basket and ring her bell to let him know she was back. He would pretend to be asleep and they would lie close and warm listening to the birds outside. “Just another half an hour” one of them would wheedle, stopping the other who felt guilty that the day was carrying on without them. Some days, right at the beginning, they would stay in bed till two or three, reading the paper or bringing breakfast upstairs. This left pink sweet-smelling trails of strawberry across the pillow and breadcrumbs on the sheets.
On Sunday morning Jack woke up early. Or at least he thought it was early, because the room was still. It took a moment to realise the sun was beaming through a gap in the curtains, like a fat, accusatory finger telling him to get out of bed. Ellen was still lying by his side. He wasn’t surprised she was still there, he had somehow expected it. After a moment he got out of bed quietly and slid open the doors to their wardrobe.
Jack considered the dresses carefully. He was not good at this. Every choice she made was beautiful, and he knew it was a dressing up box of vintage treasures. “This is for Gracie and Rachel” Ellen had always said “when they’re old enough to appreciate a well-made Biba or Mary Quant.” Jack finally selected one in a playful purple, with ruffles at the neck and shiny buttons spilling down the front. It was the same colour she wore when he proposed. He hung it carefully on the outside of the wardrobe before carefully getting quietly back into bed beside Ellen. He lay on his side, stroking her shoulder, exposed over the parapet of the duvet. He reached out for her hand, warming it with his fingers. Just another half an hour, he thought to himself.

Saturday 16 April 2011

Scrapbook intro

Continuing from my previous blog on observations that might prove useful one day in writing I've decided to keep 'scrapbook' blogs whenever I notice or hear something that catches my imagination.

For example at a gig this evening I met someone who works as a fragrance tester. The job of perfumier is captured incredibly in Patrick Suskind's Perfume (if you haven't read this I urge you to. Read it and revel in his use of the word olfactory. Amazing, amazing book) but it didn't occur to me that these modern day perfumiers and testers exist. They are usually trained but this girl had a natural talent for sniffing out scents, as discovered in a test during the interview process. I said I imagined it isn't something you realise you have an aptitude for but she replied that she'd always known she had a delicate sense of smell. How strange that you could know that - I don't know what smells are like from someone else's point of view and assumed by nose is neither more nor less finely attuned than the next.

A police officer friend also told me about responding to a call today from a mother on behalf of her grown-up son who was threatening to commit suicide using a television cable. My law-enforcing friend spent several hours with this man, who had only hours before viciously beaten a love rival and was now feeling guilty, during the process of medical assessment and sectioning. The PC herself having also suffered with depression was able to sympathise with this man, calm him and urge him to request anger management and talking therapies. The officer commented to me how strange it felt dealing with someone whose life is so different to your own but to be able to understand the exact symptoms and feelings he described.

That's enough for now. And I should probably point out I'm slightly worse for wear. Will probably read this tomorrow and think: what a pretentious c*nt...

Wednesday 6 April 2011

A Magical Story

Following on from the evil relay story I worked on for OZON magazine a few months back we've decided to keep the momentum going and keep relaying stories around. I was sent this opening to work from:

‘I made your favourite,’ Bella said. She walked into the dining room holding up a cake stand, on it something wobbled: a creamy white meringue shook on top of sunshine yellow base. It was thick, the colour of egg yolks, all held together by a pastry crust. It danced in its stand. ‘Lemon meringue. Just for you.’ She sat the cake down in front of George with a plonk. It gave a final jiggle.
‘Oh … magic,’ he said, thumping his hard, round stomach. ‘And what’s this treat for?’
‘Just felt like it,’ she said, leaning towards him, her decolletage wobbling like the cake. Her tea-dress had a smattering of buttercups over it, pulled sharply in with a belt at the waist.
She sat down opposite him. ‘Now I want to watch you have your first bite. I stirred in something extra special with the lemon curd.’
George picked up the knife and cut himself a slice. ‘And one for you?’
‘Oh no, I eat too much while I’m cooking.’ She put her hands on her belt. ‘Got to watch me figure.’
‘Too right, Bells, me too!’ he said and they both laughed.
Bella touched the side of her mouth, ensuring no lipstick was smudged.
George stabbed a large wedge with his fork. ‘This is a treat, you are good to me,’ he said, his eyes on the cake, his mouth watering as he opened it wide and shoveled the cake in. ‘Oh wonderful,’ he said, spraying as he spoke, ‘what did you say went into this? You are a little wonder!’
‘Oh, I just concocted something with me special potions,’ she said, and laughed with control while she watched closely as George’s expression began to change. It went from elated to confused to something quite peculiar. She leaned forward, eager to see if it was working. That little bit of something to create a little bit of change … she thought she even saw a little spark in the air, a little shift in the atmosphere. She held her breath.


And have just responded with the below:

As she held her breath, his puffed out from every orifice with a squeak. His face morphed, his eyes popped and bulged. ‘Ohhh’ he quivered ‘I feel ever so queer all of a sudden.’ Bella screwed her mouth into a pout of mock-concern. ‘You do look a little peaky.’ She lay her chubby hand across his forehead, feeling pulsating strong enough to clack her diamond rings together. ‘Yes,’ she murmured with delight, ‘you don’t feel at all well.’

As George’s groans got louder Bella’s smile got broader. He dropped from his seat and rolled on the floor in pain. ‘What was…in that..cake?’ he gasped from his prone position on all fours.
‘Just a special ingredient’ she replied.
‘You’ve poisoned me, you’ve poisoned me!’
‘It’s not poison. It’s pixie dust.’ Bella giggled.
‘What IS it?’ George barked.
‘It isn’t dog food either’ Bella was enjoying herself ‘though you’ll wish it was!’
‘Tell me…’ he whimpered.
‘And I haven’t cooked your son in a pie. Classical revenge was never for me.’ Bella said.
With infuriation George threw his head backwards and howled. With that Bella noted that his nose was growing longer and his hair much fuller than before. She reached out to scratch him behind his pointed ears. How he had wished for years that his balding head would once again be thatched. George growled. ‘Now now’ Bella chastised ‘don’t bite the hand that fed you.’
With alarm in his amber eyes George turned and in a gruff voice asked ‘am I – am I a werewolf?’
‘Don’t be silly’ Bella replied, with a tap on the nose, ‘werewolves don’t exist.’
Crouching down next to him she said ‘this is something much more special. This is magic.’
‘Magic?’ He yapped.
‘I thought it was time for a little lesson in fidelity.’ She reached for a tightly wrapped ball of kitchen foil lying on the counter, the surface reflected in the sun and caught George’s eye.
‘There Fido – fetch!’ shouted Bella at her new pet.


Watch this place for the next installments.

'Spotted'

One main dollop of advice that is consistently doled out to aspiring writers is WRITE. Sit down, grab yer pen and get cracking. It's also frequently advised that you should carry a notebook round and jot down ideas and observations as they come. I don't do this. Which is, quite frankly, a glaring error. I just don't have the room in my handbag once I've stuffed it full of tissues, receipts, leaky tubes of lipgloss and my damp umbrella. However yesterday morning as I strolled up Charing Cross Road from Leicester Square tube station a few things struck me that I thought I should note down.

- A funeral car rolled past, shiny and regal in the sun, with letter-wreaths spelling out the word B-A-S-T-A-R-D. That tickled me. It undermined the whole stony-faced funeral procession and humanised it. It's not for everybody, but I like that two-finger salute to tradition.

- A rather gruff looking eastern european man carrying a child's plastic see-through frog umbrella.

In hindsight the wreath may have spelt out B-E-S-T D-A-D, but I prefer to stick with my original misinterpretation.

Maybe one of these will pop up in a story somewhere, sometime.

Wednesday 16 March 2011

Targets: the next six months

What do I want to achieve in the next six months? I have a completed TV script (sent back with a nice Thanks-but-no-thanks letter from the BBC)which I would like to adapt into a stage play. I started this, but think I was sticking too strictly to the original. I discussed it in my writing class and can see it needs a big rewrite in sections, with amends to characters and order of events (eg, instead of Elise remaining off-stage throughout we need to see what's happening to her), so that's number one on the list.

There's also some great competitions I should be entering short stories into. But first I need to prune, adapt and edit a short story up to competition standard. My attention span is usually too short for that sort of thing!

1) The Manchester Fiction Prize:
First prize: £10,000*

Deadline for entries: 12th August 2011
Entry fee: £15
Judges: Heather Beck, John Burnside, Alison MacLeod and Nicholas Royle

Under the direction of Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy, the Manchester
Writing School at Manchester Metropolitan University is launching the
second Manchester Fiction Prize. The competition will award a cash prize
of £10,000* to the writer of the best short story submitted, and is open
internationally to both new and established writers aged 16 or over; there
is no upper age limit.

All entrants are asked to submit a story of up to 3,000 words in length.
The story can be on any subject, and written in any style, but must be
fiction and new work, not published or submitted for consideration
elsewhere during this competition.

The Manchester Fiction Prize celebrates the substantial literary
achievements of Manchester, building on the work of the Manchester Writing
School and enhancing the city's reputation as one of Europe's most
adventurous creative spaces. The prizes will be awarded at a gala ceremony
hosted as part of the 2011 Manchester Literature Festival.


2) The Asham Award:

I mentioned this last year but (no surprises) never got round to completing an entry. It was themed, which I found difficult to get excited about. Must keep an eye out for an update on the website for this year's competition details. It's only for female unpublished writers and gets very good PR.

3) And of course, the Bridport Prize. I cover the details of this in a previous blog entry.

Tuesday 15 March 2011

Big in Japan

In a moment of vanity (once I was done googling myself*) I checked out my Blogger stats to see if ANYONE bar me reads this self-indulgent twaddle. Well...turns out they do! I'm particularly popular in Japan, Canada, the USA and Denmark. No doubt most people are happening upon it by accident, but I'd like to think it's other writer hopefuls and people interested in drama scripts. If you fall into the latter categories (or the former, if I'm honest - beggars, choosers and all that) then why not get in touch? That's sort of the point of this new-fangled rejection of face to face human contact. We're all supposed to be connected and networking through cyber space. What do you do? Why are you here? And what do you want more of?

I look forward to hearing from you.

*Not much to report on the google front - I have a common name and my life is, thus far, clearly not considered noteworthy by Sir Tim Berners-Lee and friends.

Thursday 10 March 2011

Class work example 3

We were thrown into the blackness and landed in piles. I felt something scrunched up by my shoulder that didn’t move when I shrugged. I prayed it stayed still because it was never alive, not because it had ceased to be. There were grunts, staccato demands barked as the men dragged us around like sacks of spuds. ‘Mover, perra,’ and ‘callate, puta Americana.’ One grabbed me round my chest, pinching and pulling at the flesh of my armpits with his stubby fingers. His hands left a sluggy trail where they brushed over my face, and his rotten odour filled my mouth. I could hear my own constant wheezing breaths and the pump-pump of my heartbeat like white noise. I half expected one beat to be too much, to push my insides out of my chest like a scene from Alien. Finally the turn of phrase ‘heart in my throat’ made sense; it sat engorged at the base of my neck, threatening to choke me.

Once the Men left us alone we were silent for a long while. Or at least it felt like it. Time isn’t quite so measurable in the dark, when it expands and contracts into gaping holes or flurries of panic. The first voice to speak out wasn’t mine. I was waiting, willing someone else to go first, frightened that if I spoke no-one would answer back. I didn’t want the answer to be finite, and in the dark there are always possibilities. ‘H-hello?’ came the first voice, female and stuttering. There was a pause and I felt us hold our collective breaths. A man responded ‘I’m here’ he said. His voice came from behind me, her voice from in front. Surrounded I spoke out ‘How many?’ At the same time another voice spoke, posing the same question. ‘Are there more of you?’ she asked, a distorted echo.

Again nobody spoke. The pause was too long and so two more people started at once, like a conversation with satellite delay. Again I asked my little question: how many. The number was most important, providing substance where nothing else was tangible. Concentrating I could feel very little. My arms were tied and numb behind my back. My face was pressed against the floor, gritty against my cheek. I lay on my side in a position like the result of a suicide leap, spine twisted and legs bent awkwardly. I pictured the chalk outline from cop shows, and in my mind I was already dead. ‘I’m here’ it was the woman who first spoke up ‘my name is Geneveive’ her English was perfect, but she spoke with a thick French accent. ‘I’m thirty-four years old, from Lyon. I’m a journalist.’ ‘Hello Geneveive’ another woman spoke out encouragingly. ‘I’m Annik. Dutch. Also a journalist.’ ‘Thank you.’ Courtesy, rather than a hand to hold, was all we could offer.

Taking a ragged breath I decided it was my turn ‘Hi…everybody. I’m Bethan, I’m British, from Leeds.’ I paused before the final push. ‘And I’m looking for my husband.’
Then they came thick and fast.
‘Paul. From Boston.’
‘Tina, Paul’s wife.’
The two voices came from very near each other, maybe within touching distance. I tried to stretch a foot, to make contact, jealous of theirs.
‘My name is Diana. Travelling from Cambridge, England.’
‘Diana! I’m here – over here!’
‘Stephanie!’
‘That’s my friend, Stephanie.’ There was rustling in the dark, perhaps Diana reaching out her foot.
‘And Dan, Daniel. I’m with them. Girls, where are you?’
‘Over here’ ‘Here’ The words came at once, a confused echo from opposite sides in the darkness.
‘I don’t know where that is’ Dan’s words were met with another confused silence. The connection between us was tenuous, and I didn’t want to break it.
‘Is that everybody?’ I asked, to which there were murmurs in reply.

With no visual clues I couldn’t see if I should talk. Nobody had instructed not to but it seemed unwise to anger the Men.
Out of the darkness we heard Geneveive ‘Who are you?’
Confused, I responded. ‘We already said. I think that’s everyone.’
‘No, I mean who are you. Like I’m a news journalist from the Netherlands, out here with only a small crew. My cameraman is missing, and I think the others escaped. I am lucky, I have no one at home waiting for me.’
‘No-one? There must be someone.’ Tina spoke up from across the room, and I felt an almost physical pain as I imagined she would be squeezing Paul’s hand, grateful.
‘My parents are gone, that’s ok, and I have no other family.’
‘Someone will care though.’ I couldn’t help myself. Being alone there was bad enough for me.
‘I have friends, but they will be fine – they have each other. Somebody said before their husband is missing.’
I swallowed, but shielded by the dark decided to tell them.

Holby City applications - how not to do it

With reference to the job description please use this section to fully demonstrate the extent to which your skills, abilities and experience meet the specific requirements of the role.

I would be well-suited to the trainee script editor role on Holby City due to a combination of my academic achievements, workplace experience, and attitude towards the challenges of the role. I have always enjoyed working with scripts, from a background of A-level theatre studies and a degree in English. In my spare time I still regularly read plays, attend the theatre two or three times a month and have an interest in how plays are written and their development from page to stage or screen. This hobby has now developed into a part-time freelance role; I work as a reader, researcher and consultant for both television production companies and freelance TV writers. This work has provided a broad base of knowledge, ranging from script reports and editorial suggestions to research for a biopic, and has enabled me to develop my analytical skills at a high level. I made the decision to freelance part-time following a work placement on Holby City in 2009, when I used annual leave from my job at a media agency to trial working for a continuing drama. During my time at Holby City I was pro-active in offering help not just to the research team where I was based but also to editors, storyliners and script secretary. I feel this gave me not just a fantastic insight into the way the show is run, but also to gain experience that I have since built on in my freelance role through editing scripts and producing reports.

I would also bring other relevant skills to the role from my job as a media Account Manager. I regularly work with clients on media strategies, which involves presenting research and ideas to them in a relevant and interesting way. This précising of information would come in useful when acting as an intermediary between writers and producers, working out ways of balancing the writer’s intentions with the long-term character development and story arcs. Working as part of a team is also integral to my job, and communication is key to keeping track of large workloads. This is a skill that would allow me to work simultaneously on different stories, as I currently manage up to fifteen clients at any one time. The way I currently adapt to different client styles would also enable me to modify the way I work with producers, and to work fluidly within the Holby team structure. I have experience working under pressure for demanding clients, so would be able to cope with the tight programme deadlines. I also deal with large budgets and can calmly negotiate rates with media owners, which I believe will allow me to present each side of a story debate articulately and rationally.

However these skills are more than a sum of their parts. I not only have a relevant education, script experience and workplace acumen but I am clearly driven, determined and enthusiastic. I used half my annual holiday allowance to complete a work placement, negotiated a way of making my account manager role into a part-time position and have made strong television writing contacts over the last eighteen months. Though I only have a brief insight into continuing drama script work I have spent the last year working to ensure this is the right decision. There is no better place to get involved in drama script editing than at the BBC, because regardless of cuts or feedback in some press the output and the quality of talent speaks for itself. In particular Holby City should be lauded for its dedication to being both entertaining and thought-provoking, continuing to raise pertinent questions about NHS funding and medical ethics. Holby also constantly revaluates the roles within its development, with moves such as the appointment of a writer-producer making the move toward a more writer led show. The role of trainee script editor is one that would allow me to utilise my talents, but to learn quickly from a strong, experienced team. I would love to work on any BBC drama, but since my work placement Holby has a little place both in my heart and on my TV viewing schedule.

Writing course update

It's all been pretty busy recently. Am having a brilliant experience on the St Martins course, due largely to the excellent teaching/ crowd control of Elise Valmorbida. She is obviously a good author (recommend The Book of Happy Endings and The Winding Stick), and as a copywriter spends a lot of time thinking about the effect of words on people, but more than those things she has a way of eeking out information. She insists that there are no authorial caveats before reading, there's no criticism without editorial suggestions and no idea is a bad idea - just one that needs work. I also feel that without even realising it my writing has changed hugely since I took the first course two years ago. My style is brasher, harsher and more confident. And, to use a phrase I despise the connotations of, more 'masculine.' A tutor of mine at university claimed to be able to tell the gender of a student through their essay style, with females using more phrases such as "possibly", "perhaps" and "this could be seen as..." and male students, as a rule, wrote more definitively and more authoritatively. At uni this was definitely true of my work - how could little old me possibly be suggesting that I know better than an expert, or that my work is even worth the time it takes to read at all? Such a shame, but hopefully am ironing out that issue now.

A couple of weeks ago the assignment was about Crowd Control; the aim being to have more than two characters entering into conversation.
Write a new story scene which features at least six characters, telling the tale from ONE participating character's perspective, building momentum through conflict to a climax...

Please be aware of: how gently/slowly you need to introduce characters into the scene; how much detail you need in order to distinguish characters clearly from each other; how you contrast the depth of detail about certain characters with minimal indication of others; how your narrative point of view will determine understanding of the other characters; how to balance revealing action with dialogue and unspoken emotional currents; how the reader may perceive the other characters differently from the main narrator; how often to mention the existence of minor characters who are 'needed for the numbers' but don't take centre stage just now...


Strangely this is something I don't think I've ever tried before. It was as the problems in Libya were just coming to the forefront in the news and must have been on my mind, as I wrote about a political hostage situation. Making the assignment a bit harder for myself than it has to be I also had all the characters in the dark, thus negating any opportunity to differentiate during the conversation through physical description. Doh. But I enjoyed the assignment nevertheless, and will publish my latest version in the next post.

In other news yet another rejection from Holby City. This time should have been extra disappointing as the job was pretty much perfect for my skills and experience (trainee script editor, Holby City) however when the email came through I barely batted an eyelid. I know what to expect from the BBC by now, and it's a big fat No Thanks. However I've been very busy with alternative opportunities, and here's hoping it will work out and I'll have a brand new blog to start on soon...

Thursday 17 February 2011

Class work example 2

CRIMES AND MISDEMEANOURSWrite a 500-word story about a crime (or misdemeanour), totally from the perspective of the criminal/perpetrator. Then write a 500-word story of the same event, from the victim's point of view. It shouldn't be a simple 'repeat' -- there should be new and powerful insights we gain from the second version of events.


Version 1:

Almost pissed my pants when I realised there was someone there. Fucking terrified. There’s no feeling like it. I’m a superhero – hearing magnified a thousand times. I swear I could’ve heard my own hair growing, it was that quiet. If I had any, of course.

I’d already had a good look around and there was plenty of good steals. Big stuff to come back for later, but things that fit in your pocket too. Nice little shiny things to sell on easy. Everything’s smaller nowadays. Flat little phones and ipods, ipads. icats and dogs and ichildren’ll be next. Hundred quid a pop, job done. They had a massive telly too – bit big for the room, if you ask me. But then I’m no interior designer. Helped a few people out with removals over the years though, if you know what I mean.

So I was in their living room, sussing out the PSP and slipping a pile of computer games into my rucksack when I heard it. Just a squeak, not something just anyone could’ve picked up. But that’s one of my talents. See, people think it’s just raping and pillaging, but there’s skill involved too. Not just anyone can do break-ins and not get caught. Maybe she rolled over in the bed, or maybe he was pushing off the duvet. Either way I had to make a quick-sharp decision, and the haul was too good to overlook.

I thought I’d take my chances. Stopped for a minute, heart pumping a million break-beats till I was struggling to hear anything else. Cold sweats, clammy hands, but on top of that great big bloody shot of adrenaline. Once the house was definitely still again I carried on filling up the bag. Piles of games, dvds, cds and pocket-sized mp3s; an Aladdin’s cave of electronics and trinkets. It’s funny being in someone’s house uninvited. The room looks homely, the sofa practically begging me to have a quick sit down. Pictures on the walls to show off to all their friends, but only lets me know how rich and posh they are. Holidays on a boat, elephants on safari. I’m Robin Hood, me. Their stupid sons in stupid hats and mini-me ties. Should be outlawed. What’s wrong with a Man U shirt? Kids should be kids, that’s what I think. And our Jack would’ve killed for that Xbox Kinect.

I was just clearing the sideboard – load of silverware, ugly but might be worth summat – when the noise started up again. So close to finishing I didn’t stop this time, until I heard the footsteps on the stairs. Heavy, not cautious like most of the time. I’ve been caught before. I said it’s skill, but there’s luck involved too. Most people are too pussy and hang around till all they see is the back of you leggin’ it down the road. Usually with a sack full of their bling. This guy didn’t give me time to make a run for it. I should’ve checked the photos on the wall more carefully, now there’s a wedding photo in front of me and he’s a rugby toff type. And either his wife’s a midget or he’s fucking stacked. Maybe my luck’s running out.

Version 2:

It’s not the Things that bother me. It’s the principle, the cheek that someone can just walk into my home and take what isn’t theirs. What if I hadn’t been there? I shudder to think that Miriam and the kids would have slept right through. Or worse. If Adam or Jake had got up to use the loo, or for a glass of water. What would he have done then? Since the boys were born I don’t think I’m ever fully asleep, I spend nights in a half-slumber just in case one of them calls out. That’s probably why I woke up, but I don’t remember hearing a noise. I just got a feeling that something wasn’t right. I started to fall back asleep, but then the cabinet in the lounge opened with a distinctive glass tinkle.

Something took over and I sprang out of bed in a second, without even thinking. Miriam stayed asleep, barely stirring, and I made my way down the stairs. Passing the coat rack I fumbled for a golf club standing upright underneath. I’d be lying if I hadn’t said I’d thought about this before. It might be old-fashioned but I feel my role is as protector. I am the man of the house, and even if there’s no more hunting and gathering I’d fight with every last fibre to keep them safe. I’d known the golf club was there, and my plan had always been this. Clutching it tight in both hands I pushed open the door. My eyes had adjusted to the dark, but I was momentarily thrown by the pin-prick torch positioned above the tv cabinet, casting a spotlight onto my wedding photo. This only displaced my apprehension with out-and-out rage. How dare this man, this scum, thrust himself into my life. To stamp over my sons’ toys, to empty out drawers of personal letters – birthday wishes and sympathy notes strewn across the carpet. He looked at me for a split second as though it were me who didn’t belong. I quickly surveyed him, noting he was about my age and just as stocky as me, but shorter and hunched. In short, I could definitely take him. ‘Get out’ I told him, through gritted teeth. He went to move forward, whether it was towards me or towards the door I really couldn’t have told you but I panicked all the same. Raising the club over my head I took a swing, as though he were an enormous golf ball, and felt the connection with a thud right up to my shoulder blades. There were screams, by this point Miriam was awake so it may have been her. It might have been him screaming, but I don’t know if he was able. Or the screams might have been me.

Sunday 6 February 2011

Objectives and homework

Week one of CSM intermediate creative writing course was great. The tutor, Elise Valmorbida, is excellent. She was also the tutor on the beginners course, and the main reason I signed up for the intermediate despite it being shockingly expensive. The group has a really different vibe to those on the beginners course I took. The last group was much more ecclectic; a hotch-potch of Shoreditch trendies and SW yummy-mummies, but all kookily dressed, with successful careers and admirable writing skills. This group seems much more shy with their work, and less confident in their abilities. I find this difficult to deal with, as the main thing about these courses is you shouldn't apologise for or explain your writing. It's ok to be embarrassed, but it is what it is. If you publish a book you can't explain what you meant by it. Once writing leaves your pen it's no longer yours to narrate, and if someone misconstrues your meanings you can't take it back and explain. I'll be interested to see how the class dynamic works out.

To start with we each discussed what we'd been working on since the beginners course (to take the Intermediate you have to have successfully completed the beginners course) and what our aims for this course are. My primary motivation for taking these classes is to motivate me to work. In addition to that I want to get inspiration and get out of my comfort zone. I also want to work on technical aspects of my writing such as dialogue integration, structure and planning and tenses.

I talked a little about Senses, the script I completed last year. For me there was some glaring problems with the plot that I felt were unsurmountable, however talking them through made me realise there's still potential. I need to tackle issues like:

- why did Elise Stuart go missing? If she was kidnapped then why? Perhaps it's an act of misguided chivalry. Maybe the caretaker who kidnaps her knows about Tom's affair and wants Elise to overhear them.
- I need to complete a short biography of the caretaker, to understand why he's doing what he does. Is this a new thing or has he done this before?
- is there a trigger event to make the caretaker do it?
- Biogs of all the other characters would be useful too. eg whay are Emily and Tom together? Why are Tom and Elise together? Are Emily and Elise similar or different?


I've largely ignored the character of Elise because she doesn't appear much throughout, however even though she isn't physically there her presence still looms large over the action. A good example of this is the character of Maris in Frasier, who is constantly alluded to throughout the show but whom we never see.

My next steps on Senses are now to write biogs of all the characters, and really get to know them. In addition to this I'm going to write narrative monologues of the action from each of the main character's POV. Then I will leave the old draft to one side and start again as a stage play. For the first time in months I'm really excited about the script again.