New kid on the blog

There is a Russian proverb which says “if you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.” That pretty much sums up my attitude to trying to be a writer. I’ve tried everything: reading plays, reading scripts, doing work experience, searching for entry level roles, applying for PA jobs, knocking on the door of every production company I could find. The list is as long and tedious as the last six months of my life. But I’ve realised my mistake; I’ve been trying everything all at once. Apart from the work placement (which I’ll come onto at a later date) I’ve been hedging my bets and not really fully committed to any one aspect of these.

It’s difficult to do a rather time consuming day job whilst also trying to do another on the side. This afternoon I’m filling in some more application forms, this time for the BBC Vision Pool. This is a scheme run by the BBC for one year for a pool of freelancers. It’s a risky business; giving up my (relatively well-paid) permanent job, but at this stage I don’t have kids or a mortgage so it’s worth the risk. Plus I don’t think my sanity can take another six months of this frustration!

I hate applying for jobs. I doubt there are many people who enjoy it, but recently I’ve started to really despise it. Why can’t I just send off my CV and then the company will let me know if they’re interested? Instead I’m directed to their website to enter my details (which, by the way, are already on my CV) and answer some vague questions about team building. A few years ago, when I first went into advertising and was applying for grad schemes via the milk round my frustrations obviously got the better of me and I produced the below:

"I think I would be really good at this job. That is possibly more blunt than you were expecting, and I admit it’s a little immodest. After filling in about a billion (obviously an imprecise and slightly exaggerated estimate) applications I am finally going to try straight talking. If I did not think this job would be something I would enjoy and am more than capable of doing I would not be bothering to write this letter. Filling in boxes and trying to say, in a hundred words or less, what superhero trait you would like, or the last thing that made you laugh, or if you were a monkey what breed would you be and why. Ok, I did make the last one up, but it is not that far from the truth.

And now here this application is, asking for honesty and conversation. Well, I suppose this mild rant will at least catch your interest and stick in your mind - unless the previous applicant stapled naked pictures of themselves to their application or some other equally attention grabbing stunt.

So, anyway: it’s nice to meet you. I have to remember while writing this that those who already work for this company are people too, rather than the horrifying combination of Margaret Thatcher and Miss Trunchball from Roald Dahl’s Matilda I transformed them into in my head. And I hope you would like me- I’m very personable, and enjoy spending time with others, interacting with people and finding out about their views and opinions. I have a friend who uses me as a ‘buffer’ when she holds house parties, employing me as a way of mixing people; a volunteer for the no-man’s land between the kitchen and the lounge. One of my main strengths is in understanding and translating the needs of others, which I experienced working in market research and doing welfare training at university. I am creative and imaginative, enjoy writing and have an interest in popular culture such as music and films, but in particular contemporary novels. I think these interests promote creative ideas, as well as keeping me abreast of trends." And so it continued, with the slight glaze of insanity.

Apparently it was one of the most, er, interesting letters they received. So, am I brave enough to go for that tack on the BBC Vision Pool? I doubt it, as I don't want to take the risk. In hindsight I was only willing to submit the above because - let's be honest - I didn't really want the job that badly.