I Feelgood...

Today I went to the offices of Feelgood Fiction, an independent TV production company who specialise in new writing talent. I sent of my CV and a short cover (begging) letter to them before Christmas and they agreed to meet with me. Laurence was very friendly and within the first ten minutes I got all excited again about working with these sort of people; ones who actually care about what they do and are interested in the same things I am. He asked me what the one book I wished I had written is. That’s a very good question, and a very different question to what my favourite book would be. I wish I’d written Time’s Arrow by Martin Amis – not my favourite, but so stylistically deft that I’m in awe of it. The novel has an inverted order of events, and this reversal in chronology compels the reader to question a reality and morality that is often taken for granted. It also provides a potent new emphasis to the meaninglessness of Holocaust ideologies by creating a novel where things make equal sense both forward and backwards. The conversation meandered on about this for a while, comparing Amis novels and we then moved on to drama. He quizzed me on favourite shows and writers, but strangely I wasn’t able to talk about them in as much length as I am novels. I suppose that’s because all my experience at university was talk about books, and maybe I’m not yet used to thinking of something I see as a hobby in scholarly terms.

Here are a few of my favourite shows:

Queer as Folk – for the characters; the dastardly Stuart who was such a bastard but written in a way that you can’t dislike. Stuart and Vince were two characters whose objectives were at odds with each other but I just couldn’t choose between the puppy dog and the object of his affection. It is a very talented writer who can write a lovable rogue who is actually a complete cunt.

This Life – A script full of dripping sarcasm and sexual tension along with a healthy dose of drug taking and binge drinking created a comedy-drama that actually fulfilled both aspects of the genre with aplomb. As I was 13 years old it wasn’t really suitable viewing, but I saw it as aspirational television. My mother would have been furious – but that was sort of the point.

Mad Men – beautiful, sexy, shiny drama. Shame advertising isn’t like that anymore, or many I wouldn’t be so keen to get out!

Six Feet Under – dark comedy. So, so dark. Loved it.

Shameless – (early series mainly) when this was still Paul Abbott penned it was one of the funniest, best, freshest things I’ve ever seen.

Clocking Off – Again, a Paul Abbott gem. I remember the first episode of the first series vividly, where a guy comes home to his wife and he’s suffering from amnesia. The advert said something like “He’s finally come home. But wrong house.” I don’t want to give away why but watch it. Awesome.

This list is all well and good, and most of them appear in the recent Guardian top 50 TV dramas of all time (LINK) but as Laurence pointed out none of them are new. I go and see plays all the time, but often Chekhov or Shakespeare or a good Alan Bennett. I know that makes me sound pretty pretentious, but at least with a big name writer there’s no risk of it being rubbish. Which is certainly not the attitude someone wanting to be a new writer should have. Ooops. So the advice I’ve been given is watch new shows, attend new plays by emerging playwrights, see what’s going on at the moment and what the public has an appetite for. And if I see something that I love get in touch with the writer and invite them for tea! I can just see it now: Dear Paul Abbott…..

New kid on the blog

There is a Russian proverb which says “if you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.” That pretty much sums up my attitude to trying to be a writer. I’ve tried everything: reading plays, reading scripts, doing work experience, searching for entry level roles, applying for PA jobs, knocking on the door of every production company I could find. The list is as long and tedious as the last six months of my life. But I’ve realised my mistake; I’ve been trying everything all at once. Apart from the work placement (which I’ll come onto at a later date) I’ve been hedging my bets and not really fully committed to any one aspect of these.

It’s difficult to do a rather time consuming day job whilst also trying to do another on the side. This afternoon I’m filling in some more application forms, this time for the BBC Vision Pool. This is a scheme run by the BBC for one year for a pool of freelancers. It’s a risky business; giving up my (relatively well-paid) permanent job, but at this stage I don’t have kids or a mortgage so it’s worth the risk. Plus I don’t think my sanity can take another six months of this frustration!

I hate applying for jobs. I doubt there are many people who enjoy it, but recently I’ve started to really despise it. Why can’t I just send off my CV and then the company will let me know if they’re interested? Instead I’m directed to their website to enter my details (which, by the way, are already on my CV) and answer some vague questions about team building. A few years ago, when I first went into advertising and was applying for grad schemes via the milk round my frustrations obviously got the better of me and I produced the below:

"I think I would be really good at this job. That is possibly more blunt than you were expecting, and I admit it’s a little immodest. After filling in about a billion (obviously an imprecise and slightly exaggerated estimate) applications I am finally going to try straight talking. If I did not think this job would be something I would enjoy and am more than capable of doing I would not be bothering to write this letter. Filling in boxes and trying to say, in a hundred words or less, what superhero trait you would like, or the last thing that made you laugh, or if you were a monkey what breed would you be and why. Ok, I did make the last one up, but it is not that far from the truth.

And now here this application is, asking for honesty and conversation. Well, I suppose this mild rant will at least catch your interest and stick in your mind - unless the previous applicant stapled naked pictures of themselves to their application or some other equally attention grabbing stunt.

So, anyway: it’s nice to meet you. I have to remember while writing this that those who already work for this company are people too, rather than the horrifying combination of Margaret Thatcher and Miss Trunchball from Roald Dahl’s Matilda I transformed them into in my head. And I hope you would like me- I’m very personable, and enjoy spending time with others, interacting with people and finding out about their views and opinions. I have a friend who uses me as a ‘buffer’ when she holds house parties, employing me as a way of mixing people; a volunteer for the no-man’s land between the kitchen and the lounge. One of my main strengths is in understanding and translating the needs of others, which I experienced working in market research and doing welfare training at university. I am creative and imaginative, enjoy writing and have an interest in popular culture such as music and films, but in particular contemporary novels. I think these interests promote creative ideas, as well as keeping me abreast of trends." And so it continued, with the slight glaze of insanity.

Apparently it was one of the most, er, interesting letters they received. So, am I brave enough to go for that tack on the BBC Vision Pool? I doubt it, as I don't want to take the risk. In hindsight I was only willing to submit the above because - let's be honest - I didn't really want the job that badly.