Story Researcher - Holby City

Cue fanfare: finally, a relevant job on Holby City has arisen!! The job is for a story researcher on Holby, which is similar to what I was doing on my work placement and (to sound a little arrogant here) certainly not above me. In fact, I think I’d be great at it. However once I clicked to apply my elation, during these slim recession times, at seeing someone recruiting the sort of job I’m looking for was short-lived. Number one on their list of ‘Required knowledge and experience’ is "Minimum 1 year’s experience as a Drama Researcher, preferably in a Story Department". Which, I’ll be honest, I somewhat disregarded – I’ve never been one to let a little thing like not being qualified for the job get in the way of an application!! I fulfil (and in some places even overreach) all the other core competencies so figured this could be compensation, and I’d still be in with a shout of an interview:

2. The ability to handle confidential information with tact and sensitivity.
3. A strong knowledge of Holby City.
4. A broadly based knowledge of and a familiarity with conventional and specialised sources of information and research techniques.
5. The ability to interpret Editorial intentions, and to contribute to the generation of ideas and the resolution of story problems.
6. An informed interest in drama research and production.
7. Experience of establishing and maintaining office and administration systems.
8. Excellent communication skills.
9. Familiarity with office and information technology.

Personal attributes

Interpersonal and communication skills sufficient to establish and maintain effective working relations with all members of the Production team, cast and crew, and to establish productive relationships with contacts external to the BBC.

The ability to adopt a flexible approach, manage a variable workload and adapt to the different styles of the various Producers and Production teams, and to work simultaneously on different stories.

Effective time-management and organisational skills and the ability to exercise initiative and work independently.

Enthusiasm, resilience and stamina to sustain performance when under pressure from tight schedules, deadlines and conflicting priorities.

COMPTENCIES

Communication
Managing relationships
Flexibility
Resilience
Planning & Organising

However the second filtering question is very firm:
"An essential criteria of this role is that candidates have significant Research experience in Drama. Do you have at least 1 year's experience as a Drama Researcher?" There is a Yes or No box to tick. And even I cannot bring myself to tell a barefaced lie like this that blatantly can’t be corroborated.